Monday, March 19, 2012

I Am

Remember how I was wearing shorts all week? Those days are over. It snowed today. When I woke up there was snow in the mountains, but it wasn't snowing. So I didn't even wear a jacket to church (just long sleeves). And then when church got out...it was snowing a lot. Whyyyyyyy? Winter, you did not need to come back. I didn't miss you.

Abby shared this song in Relief Society and I've listened to it about a million times today. It's a new favorite. I love songs that can gain favorite status in less than 24 hours.


After church I called Mommy, went to buzz meeting, and then ate lunch. While I was eating I got the cutest video message from Joe of Pierson walking. He's getting so big! It makes me sad that I'm missing seeing him grow up. He'll be a year old on Friday. Time flies.

Once upon a time someone told me I was really open on my blog. I don't think that's generally true. You can only get to know me skin deep by reading my usual blog posts. But today I'm going to let you go a little deeper. Seeing Pierson grow up via pictures/skype, and not being able to be physically there has made me think a lot about my future. I'm a dreamer. I think a lot about the future. But in particular, my wedding has been on my mind. Specifically, I've been thinking a lot about how my brothers won't get to see me get married in the temple. That's a really hard thought to swallow. I love my brothers so much and I want them to be there so bad. And I can't make that happen. I can't have my dream wedding. I mean, it will still be my dream wedding, but all the parts won't be there. My mom's parents couldn't even go in the temple with her. At least I have my parents, but it's just sad to think about. Of course it in no way makes me want anything less than a temple marriage. I can't imagine less. I just want my entire family to be together forever, and it's hard to not be able to make that happen all on my own. So there you go, a peak inside my heart.

I spent most of the afternoon listening to "I Am", watching Mormon messages, and reading the scriptures. It was a pretty relaxed day. I went into work for about 15 minutes because someone was late for their shift and the other girl had to be somewhere. But other than that, I was pretty free. It was a good day.

At ward prayer tonight we got our "killing" assignments for our assassin game. You kill people by putting a spoon in his/her pocket. It should be fun. Then after ward prayer we played Rook and did some CR/BR (couple rating/breakup rating). And now it's time for bed. It's going to be a really busy week. Goal for the week: stay sane.

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