A sad countdown

Today was my last fast Sunday in the 116th ward. The countdown has begun. Only a few weeks left of the semester. Last semester I was excited to be at the end, but now I just want time to stop. Freeze. Stay still. I don't want the semester to end, even if that means I have to write more annoying papers and sit through boring classes. Just thinking about how close it is to summer makes me want to cry. Yes, I am excited to go home and see my family. But I don't want to leave. I'm not ready for this chapter of my life to end.

Things will never be the same as freshman year. The boys are all leaving on missions, and I will miss them dearly. Carine is going on a study abroad for fall semester. I won't see any of my BYU friends all summer. And they really are my best friends. They lift me up and make me want to be better. Heck, I'm even going to miss the Cannon. Sure the food gets old after a while, but I love gathering for dinner with friends. Everything changes in less than a month. And I am not ready.

Church today was good. So good. I was reminded what strong people I am surrounded by as I listened to my friends share their testimonies in sacrament meeting. Instead of normal Sunday school, our class started temple prep this week. I loved talking about the temple and it made me look forward to going one day. Relief society was wonderful, as usual. Cami taught a beautiful lessen about looking heavenward and enduring trial. I love my ward. Heavenly Father knew what He was doing when He placed those people in my life. I needed each and every one of those people in my life this year.

After church Carine, Caroline, Mary, Cami, Ashley, and I had an impromptu photo session. We decided to document our freshman year friendships. We had a lot of fun just goofing off and being silly. I love those girls.

We had a huge group of kids from our ward eat dinner together. I was in the Cannon from the time it opened until the time it closed. By that time Meg, Thomas and I were already in a good conversation so we couldn't let the Cannon closing end it. We ended up talking all the way until ward prayer (at 9 p.m.). We talked about a million different things. One of us would as a question. About anything. And then we had deep spiritual conversations about the question. Sometimes we didn't have all the answers, but it was so...good to be able to sit with two of my favorite people and talk and listen and turn to the scriptures when we weren't sure. I love that. I'm really going to miss things like that when I go home this summer. I love that a simple dinner conversation can turn into hours of talking about the gospel with your best friends.

This year has changed me. I'm me, but I'm a new me. This year is coming to an end. But this new me is still just beginning. I am really sad that in just a few weeks I'm going to have to say goodbye to people who have changed my life - my friends. And let's face it, some of them I might never see again. But even if I never see them again, my life will be forever impacted by their examples. By our friendships. Whether for a reason, a season, or a lifetime...

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